What the hell was the mva thinking?
When they gave me a license! Seriously, people like me should NOT be given a license.
Ok, wait. I need to go back and explain things a bit so people everywhere reading this blog can fully understand my plight.
Up until, oh, a couple weeks ago I did not have a license. Not for lack of trying. I tried so much I probably went through over half a dozen learners permits from the time I turned 15 and 1/2 till the time I actually got my license. My follow through on the license department wasn’t so great though. To get a license one must have a licensed driver in the car with you to teach you and fulfill the 60 hours driving requirement. For me, that someone has always been in short supply. Thats not to say I don’t hold some responsibility, I do. I have a high anxiety when it comes to driving, and if left to my own devices I would avoid driving like the plague. Since it took me 10 years longer than the average person, I guess you could say I was left to my own devices a lot.
So, yeah, my point is I’m a newbie licensed driver.
Now, back to the 60 hours driving requirement. The mva states that 10 of those hours must be after 6pm. This is in hopes that every marylander will get some night driving time. Unfortunately for the mva you can still meet those requirements and not have to drive at night. It is called SUMMER! To put it in perspective, my experience with night driving is zippo, zilch, nada… I do not drive at night. Period. End of story.
Well, until last night that is. See, I went to back to school night at Alex’s school so I could learn all about Alex’s day and meet his teacher (again). The meeting was at 6:30pm. Still daylight. By the time I came out of the school at 7:45pm it was night. Crap.
And what you might be asking makes this story so hilarious?
Because I have no experience with night driving, I had no f*ing idea how to turn on the headlights.
To make this story even funnier, my van is equipped with daytime running lights. I did not know this. So when I thought I turned on the headlights because all the lights on the dashboard came on, I’m thinking there is something wrong with the headlights. I’m driving home slowly and carefully trying to figure out why the hell the headlights look like they are on, but don’t look like they do when Joe drives. I was really worried that because the headlights were on but dim that it was a sign that something was wrong with the battery or something. I was about half way home before I actually figured out that I had to click the little knob not just once, but twice.
And again I’ll say, people like me should not be given a license. They should make things like turning on your headlights and windshield wipers a part of the test just to prevent people like me from ever getting their license. Instead all you really need to know is how to open and shut the door, use the parking break, turn the car on, use the turn signals, parallel park, turnabout, stop at a stop sign, drive and back up straight, park in a parking spot, and turn the car off. All of which I can do. In fact I actually had to parallel park last night and did a good job of it too, which just makes the whole me not knowing how to turn on the headlights even more pathetic.
More posts like this:
- What would your custom license plate say? – November 6, 2007
- I do mind-numbingly stupid things. – November 10, 2007
- My family visits. – April 27, 2006
- Happy Belated Mother’s Day. – May 12, 2008
- Ever Gone to Canada? Part 2 – November 5, 2007
chosha
September 17th, 2007 @ 3:20 am
Hmmm, I’m thinking it might be a good thing that we don’t drive on the same roads. ;)